I had a moment tonight. As I was leaving the Chipotle parking lot, I reversed out a little too quickly. I made eye contact with a father standing on a curb near where my car was moving. He had his hand over one of his son’s chest. He gave me a nod and the nonverbal communication clicked something into place for me. It was a look two humans have exchanged billions of times over millions of years. “You are a stranger, I’m not a threat. Continue on.” It was instinct.
My eyes are watering. We are all just trying our best, to live and to protect our loved ones. Existence is heavy and we aren’t gurus. Navigating life takes a tribe. It takes wisdom, myth, tradition, and love. We live in a confused age. Pandemonium. Millions are speaking at once. Our religions have been sterilized by rationalism. Our myths serve money, production, and progress. Our heroes are hollow.
I’m an optimist, but I see and I acknowledge. Life is hard. The gravity of reality can bring me to my knees. The only response I can see is compassion, to work hard so I have the means provide, and to focus my luck and skill towards helping others. And the honest truth is this is all due to my selfishness. I want to do this because it assuages the muck in my core.
Because deep down, I know that life is fucking savage. She is beautiful but she is savage. Everyone I know will die. Everything I love will die. I will die. It is guaranteed. But we have a couple dozen years to hug, kiss, love, and help hundreds of other humans in the exact same, heavy, savage, and beautiful situation as ourselves.
I love you. Thank you for reading. Namaste.